


One Year Later

by ThefirstRanger



Series: Tax Evasion AU [2]
Category: The Brotherband Chronicles - John Flanagan
Genre: Ambiguous Hal/Stig can be interpreted as either way, Edvin plays a crucial part, F/M, Lydia/Ingvar is platonic, M/M, Marriage for tax evasion purposes only
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 13:35:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20743049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThefirstRanger/pseuds/ThefirstRanger
Summary: It's been one year since Ingvar and Lydia got married and it's tax season again. This time, Lydia knows tax season is coming and she and Ingvar have been preparing for a year for this day. Erak doesn't know what's coming.





	One Year Later

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sequel to my fic, A Time Honored Tradition. 
> 
> Credit to @smug-albatross, @araluen-arrows, @stxrduste, and Braigwen who helped with ideas and names on the discord! 
> 
> Enjoy and comment!

It had almost been a year since Ingvar and Lydia had gotten married. Hard to believe it, the year had gone by so fast. For Lydia and Ingvar, married life had progressed pretty well. They had moved into Lydia's small house, which was fairly close to Ingvar's parent's house so whenever they needed time away from each other or needed some food, one of them would go to over to the house. They hadn't even needed to use Lydia's house for the whole year because The Heron had taken a two month trip to secure passage for a trading ship. Hal and Stig had awkwardly set aside some extra space for Lydia and Ingvar, looking anywhere except at the couple. Their new sleeping space was marginally bigger than everyone else's and was farther away from everyone. Hal and Stig left with an uncomfortable "enjoy your night". As soon as they left, Lydia and Ingvar proceeded to arrange their beds close by each other and had a vicious pillow fight, with Lydia only winning by a hair. Hal had apparently pushed other crew members space away and it was sort of gratifying to faintly hear Ulf and Wulf argue with each other over the shared space. Ingvar would've proposed ages ago if it had meant he didn't have to sleep by the twins and Stig. 

It turns out married life really suited Ingvar and Lydia. Roland stopped trying to ask Lydia on dates and she and Roland became friends, he helped her adjust to the lesser known customs of Skandia and she never felt like she couldn't ask him things, something she sometimes felt with the Herons. She loved her crew and they loved her, but she felt like she had to be tough and keep up with the Skandian boys. She needed one spot in her life where she could just relax and ask questions. People started treating Ingvar and Lydia with more, not respect, but started treating them more like adults. Anytime Ingvar or Lydia didn't want to do something around town or skip out on a Heron meeting, they would use the excuse "Oh my spouse needs me right now". It ticked everyone off but they can't stop Lydia or Ingvar. 

Lydia's favorite time she used that excuse was during the first time the Herons stopped at port during the escort journey. She was with Edvin and Wulf, unloading the Heron, when several young men from the docks came up to her. They started saying things like "You can take a ride on our boats instead" and "Ditch your boyfriends and come with us". 

Lydia went "I'm not their girlfriend, I'm his WIFE!" and pointed behind the local men. They turned around and saw Ingvar towering over them. The men froze and ran away, well most of them ran away. Ingvar managed to catch one of them by the scruff of his neck and held him up. Wulf started to egg Ingvar on, eager to see someone else that wasn't him get thrown in the harbor. The normally passive Edvin was also clamoring for Ingvar to throw the hooligan in the water. Anyone who disrespected Lydia, or any woman in general, deserved to get thrown by Ingvar. Ingvar looked like he was enjoying himself immensely when the man hit the water and came up sputtering and spitting out the gross water. Lydia simply grabbed Ingvar's hand and the two of them walked haughtily back to the Heron before dissolving into uproarious laughter below deck. 

Ingvar can often be heard saying "That's my WIFE!" whenever Lydia does something sick, which is quite often. Being married gave Ingvar and Lydia the perfect excuse to give each other lavish and over the top praise with the goal of trying to make the other person laugh. It was common around Hallasholm to hear Lydia say something so specific and sweet to Ingvar that his face would light up and he would try to contain his smile. Everyone that this was terribly romantic and thought that Lydia and Ingvar were the perfect couple. They were right, Lydia and Ingvar were the perfect couple, just not in the way everyone thought. 

Ingvar's parents, Wiglaf and Ingithora, love Lydia. They had always wondered if Ingvar would find someone to marry him. He was a good boy, strong, smart, and kind; but his eyesight made him clumsy, which made people overlook him. Wiglaf and Ingithora see how Lydia and Ingvar get each other instinctively and even though they know that they won't be getting any grandkids out of this marriage, they are more than pleased. Ingvar could not have chosen better. Lydia takes no crap and gives no crap, which is one of the best qualities a Skandian wife can have. Ingithora slips Lydia a sack containing some coins and a heirloom necklace and Lydia feels accepted. Ingvar's little sister, Ingunn, loves Lydia as well. Lydia showed her how to walk really silently through the forest and now Ingunn uses her new skills to sneak up on her friends. Lydia is the hero of all the little girls in Hallasholm. Though she does not know this, in the future, Ingunn will pass through brotherband training just like her beloved brother did and Lydia will be there beaming as Ingunn and her crew pull onto land after the final race in victory. 

As Ingvar and Lydia talked throughout the year, they decided to keep on exploiting the tax system. Erak wouldn't be caught off guard like he was last year so the couple decided to dive deep into Skandian tax laws to find the best loopholes to pay less money. They traveled to the courthouse which had been busy in the past year. It seems like Lydia and Ingvar had inspired so many people to get married to evade taxes that Erak hadn't had a month go by where he wasn't called down to be present at a marriage. Hal and Stig had tried to get married before Erak collected their taxes the year before, but Erak had violently taken their payments and went home to his bed, muttering some nasty curses under his breath. Hal and Stig still weren't married, they were waiting for a time when Erak wasn't around so they could surprise him and shave off a few coins as a marriage gift. The courthouse basement was dusty and dark, it wasn't used all that much. Most punishments were sent out by Erak in public spaces or duked out in private between citizens. There was no need for the law books either. The laws of the land were ingrained in everyone's minds. Except for the very specific tax laws that only Lydia and Ingvar had. The kindly old clerk lady was more than happy to lend out the tax rule books to the first people who had willingly visited her in years and Lydia and Ingvar were overjoyed to have them. 

The rest of the year, Lydia and Ingvar's nights are spent in their home, with Lydia carefully reading to Ingvar the tax book rules and Ingvar dutifully copying her words down. They puzzled over strange laws and pored over old texts. While Lydia always knew Ingvar was smarter than everyone gave him credit for, it turns out Ingvar had a head for taxes. He could hear a rule and figure out any loopholes that could be gotten from it. Lydia wasn't quite as natural at understanding the complicated Skandian tax laws as Ingvar was, but she took her job seriously and she was cunning. Hunting down tax laws wasn't hunting or tracking animals, but regardless of her prey, Lydia was an excellent hunter. 

The excitement and legends surrounding their marriage die down, which is what Lydia and Ingvar want. It allows them to conduct their tax preparations in peace. Cargo is tallied, goods are traded, plans are put in place. When tax evasion season comes around again, they were ready. 

The week starts out normal enough, except for when Hal and Stig get tastefully married in the dead of night to avoid having Erak crash their wedding. Erak isn't about to have another couple from the Heron get married and deny him even more taxes. It's a small ceremony with only the Heron brotherband, Thorn, Karina, and Hannah attending. It brings everyone to tears, they are all imagining how mad Erak is going to be once he hears the news. Little do they know, Erak had heard about the wedding and planned to crash it. Not to prevent it from happening, but to be present for the young men and give his grudging assent. Erak realized he could no more stop the tide whale than stop Hal and Stig when they had a plan. Hal and Stig are ecstatic when they see Erak, they're gonna get a great gift from the Oberjarl, but instead Erak fines them and the whole crew for an axe of his that Kloof chewed up. It is still a lovely wedding. 

The week continues on. Wiglaf, Ingithora, and Ingunn wave a cheerful goodbye to Lydia and Ingvar as the family heads out to camp in the woods for a few days. Ingunn can't wait to practice all the skills Lydia taught her. Hallasholm is both empty and busy, people leaving and coming back, scurrying around trying to avoid Erak and Borsa. Great Aunt Winfredia makes another appearance and Ingvar takes her aside, whispering something in her ear. Great Aunt Winfredia's face splits wide open with a grin. This might be the year she gets out of paying taxes. 

Erak had been having a rough week. Borsa had gotten sick so Erak was the main person who had to collect taxes. He was pretty sure Borsa was faking his sickness just so he didn't have to deal with the schemes of the Heron crew. He didn’t blame Borsa, he didn’t want to deal with the Herons either, but Borsa was going to pay for this absence once he was well again. Erak thanked Gorlog that Hal and Stig were on their honeymoon and that he didn’t have to deal with that particular brand of shenanigans this week. He would take their money once they came back. Jesper’s payments as well as he was pretty sure Jesper had snuck off to join Hal and Stig on their honeymoon. In the meantime, he had to deal with the Herons trying their darndest to avoid taxes. Stefan had fashioned a wig and had tried pretending to be Lydia, his voice doing a reasonable facsimile of her voice. Ulf, or maybe it was Wulf, had gotten on top of his brother’s back and draped a sheet over the two of them in an effort to pretend to be Ingvar. 

Stefan was talking in Lydia’s voice. “Erak, Stefan and the twins have left Hallasholm and they have taken all of our tax money.”

One of the twins, Erak did not care which one it was, chimed in, deepening his voice. “We can’t pay our taxes this year.”

Erak had seen a lot of futile schemes over the years, but this one took the cake. He shook his head and made the three young men sit down and wait for the real Lydia and Ingvar to come. Any punishment he came up with would pale in comparison to Lydia’s wrath. When this plan had failed, Ulf and Wulf defaulted to their normal tactics of trying to convince Erak they were one person. Erak closed his eyes. The salt wind ruffled Erak’s beard and he had one peaceful moment where he lived in a world where he didn’t have to collect taxes and instead was the one avoiding paying taxes. Alas, that was not the world he was living in. A shadow crossed his face and his eyes opened. A group of Herons was standing in front of him. It was Ingvar, Lydia, Thorn, and Edvin. Erak felt a flash of fear. Lydia was smiling a shark’s smile and the presence of Edvin meant there was one less tax payer who didn’t shirk his taxes. 

Ingvar slammed down the tiniest bag of coins Erak had ever seen. Erak steeled himself in preparation. This was going to be a trying tax collection. Another presence joins the group- Great Aunt Winfredia- and Erak audibly gulps. He hadn’t seen Great Aunt Winfredia yet this year, and he had hoped that she had gone away, and her presence with Ingvar and Lydia spelled doom for him. 

Lydia didn’t even let Erak speak before she dove into their presentation. “We are here to pay our taxes.” Thorn, Great Aunt Winfredia, and Edvin all tossed down their own bags of coins. Thank Gorlog, Edvin’s at least looked like it was the full amount of taxes. Thorn and Winfredia’s did not, but Erak didn’t care about that. His attention was focused on the bag Ingvar and Lydia had tossed on the desk which contained exactly three copper coins, barely enough money to buy a snack on the street. Erak didn’t want to engage Lydia and Ingvar in their tax scheme, but he had to. 

“Why, no, what. Why?” was all Erak go out before Ingvar took pity on him. 

“We have filed for several tax deductions and claims, as well as filing for our many dependents.” At this, Lydia handed Erak a pristine piece of paper and gestured towards Thorn and Great Aunt Winfredia.

“Thorn, Svengal, you are not the dependents of Lydia and Ingvar.” protested Erak. “I’ve known you for years. You are grown men.” 

Svengal, or Great Aunt Winfredia, looked offended. “You are talking about my great-nephew and I have been depending on Lydia and Ingvar to care for me for the past year because you have refused to take care of me.” Erak started up. 

“I put up with you and your nephew all year! You don’t get to claim that I don’t take care of you, Great Aunt Winfredia.” 

Ingvar ignored this and pointed to the piece of paper Erak had in his hand. “Since Great Aunt Winfredia is over 100, she does not have to pay income tax. As a dependent of us, that deduction applies to our incomes, but at half the rate. Thorn is another one of our dependents and since we have put aside part of our income for Thorn’s education, that money is not allowed to be taxed.” 

Erak could not believe what he was hearing. “You’re going to school?” he asked incredulously. He truly had heard everything.

Thorn gave a proud smile that was borderline smug. “Yes I am. I’m going to my degree in pirating.” 

Lydia took over. “Our third dependent, Kloof, allows us to put aside money for being a dependent, being a crucial part of our business, and for her education fund. Before you ask, Kloof is part of the Heron crew and all her expenses like food are tax deductible. And we fully intend to send Kloof to school. She needs education and training if you don’t want her to keep chewing on your weapons Oberjarl.” The slight emphasis on that last phrase made it seem to Erak that he was being blackmailed, but he didn’t care at this point. He just wanted Kloof to stop chewing his axes. 

“Are you done yet?” asked Erak despairingly. 

“Nope!” replied Ingvar cheerfully. “We also filed a deduction on The Heron, which we have partial ownership of. The Heron is not paid off yet so we have a partial deduction for that. Lydia also owns her house and that is a deduction." 

Despite the despairing look on Erak's face, Lydia barrelled on. "My house is also where I run my business-" 

"What business?" squawked Thorn. Lydia and Ingvar had been holding out on him. It turned out that Lydia had been running a hunting and tracking business out of her house for almost an entire year and since she used it for business, the house taxes could be deducted. Thorn made a mental note to tell Hannah, Stig’s mother, about that loophole. She could use it for her laundry business. It also turned out that Ingvar ran a business from their home: renting their home out to travellers for cheap. If travellers stayed for less than 15 days in their house, Lydia and Ingvar could take that money tax free. 

Erak, Stefan, Ulf, and Wulf thought Lydia and Ingvar were done. Then Edvin stepped up. No one had expected Edvin to be in on the tax evasion scheme; he always paid his full taxes much to the chagrin of his friends. Edvin had paid his taxes in full this year, but he had jumped at the chance to help out Lydia and Ingvar with their taxes. 

Edvin cleared his throat. “As Lydia and Ingvar’s personal physician, I recommended that they have a pool of water put by their house for Ingvar’s health,” There was indeed a pool by Lydia’s house, she had taught Ingvar, Ingunn, and Edvin how to swim there. “Due to Skandian tax law, if a couple has a pool of water on their property, manmade or not, they are eligible for a tax deduction.” That law sounded fake, but coming out of Edvin’s mouth, everyone believed it. Edvin truly was invaluable to Lydia and Ingvar. 

At this point, Ulf and Wulf’s eyes had glazed over and Erak was close to the point of grabbing his axe and snapping it in two parts. Almost as if they sensed that their audience was close to a breaking point, Ingvar and Lydia closed their presentation with a bang. 

“Finally, we took the majority of our escort payments in cargo and put the remaining money in investments which cannot be taxed until they are taken out. These coins are all that remains of our taxable income payment.” 

There was silence. Lydia and Ingvar looked at each other with the purest sense of satisfaction. Edvin smirked at Stefan and the twins. Thorn and Great Aunt Winfredia looked at Erak who had closed his eyes. When Erak opened his eyes again, he scooped up the coins mechanically and said only one sentence. “Lydia, you’re in charge of these three lads today.” 

Lydia smiled at her attempted doppelganger and at the twins who were still stacked upon each other and smiled a cold, hard smile. All the men felt a shiver of dread go down their spine. Stefan and the twins regret their plan so much. 

Epilogue 

A year later, Erak saw Edvin, Ingvar, and Lydia stroll confidently together down towards his tax desk. He didn’t even try to protest; he just took their too small payments and left. Erak did not get paid enough for this.


End file.
